April 15th, 2003


(no subject)

These days, I think my main complaint about alcohol is its centrality to life. I notice that as I'm getting older and more of my friends are of legal drinking age, I find myself having to explain that I don't drink more often than I used to, not less. And when the choice that my friends make to drink (and by that I mean more than one or two drinks) becomes more frequent or more desirable, I start to feel more seperated from their lives.

And I'm starting to wonder about my former reasons too. I used to hate alcohol because I hated seeing my friends drunk or otherwise acting less intelligently than they're normally capable of. I decided that I needed to accept it more, because it wasn't healthy to hate a large part of the lives of most of my friends. And I have accepted it, or so I thought. Now I wonder if I'm just telling myself that. I know of several people for whom I have a lot of respect, who frown on the drinking thing as much as I used to, when it was newer to me and when my friends were less responsible about it. What they have to say resonates with me, and now I'm not sure if I'm being honest with myself.

JL, don't worry, I'm not upset with you.