1. Clock radio set to turn on the news radio station.
2. Battery-powered alarm clock set to crow like a rooster, and then shut off after a minute. (Its only setting.)
3. Clock radio set to turn on the news radio station and beep repeatedly.
4. (3) followed a minute or two later by (2).
5. Clock radio set to turn on some bad music station and beep repeatedly, perhaps also accompanied by (2).
6. (5), but with the clock radio moved to the other site of the room and the volume cranked.
7. The computer set to play "Time" by Pink Floyd, followed by "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins, at an excessive volume.
In practice, I use 1-3 almost every day. I rarely need to exceed 4 anymore, though 4 and 5 were regularly necessary in college. 7 was only ever necessary about 3 times, but it's guaranteed to work.